In this video, learn about the reasons behind homework struggles and how to avoid them from Shefali Tsabary, PhD.
This is a common problem, getting your kid to do homework and getting your kid to be motivated. What parents need to realize is that homework is not the problem that the kid is having. The kid has developed resistance to the learning because somewhere and we’ve contributed heavily to this, they’ve lost their connectivity to the learning material to their own learning process, to the sense of discovery, curiosity and they’re ambushed in meshed, in anxiety. Homework is now become about performance; it has not become what it should be which is learning, a deeply intimate, individualized process of learning. We’ve so strayed away from the original idea of discovery and self paced curiosity and so entered the main stream model of, you have to do well, go to 3 specific colleges to be called a success and get only an “A” grade to be identified as successful human being. When the child feels that pressure, 90% of children are going to back under it, are going to avoid it, and that’s what you’re seeing in everyday life. What can a parent do? This is going to ask for a tremendous amount of courage from the parent because the parent is going to have to step away from their instinct to go with the crowd, to go with the norm. They’re going to have to break away from the norm, if they’re going to rediscover a sense of purpose with their child for learning. What can a parent do? The parents need to take away all emphasis on grades, on performance, on the test tomorrow and rechannel the energy on the effort the child puts in, so all focus and energetic input needs to be on the evening before in helping the child to recreate a sense of learning, nonresistance, motivation and removing all anxiety around how they will perform. The parent will really not have to look at the test grades, talk about the test, ask them about how the test was and when the child begins to pick up that the parent is not gauging me now on the performance, they begin to ease now into how may I learn.