In a lifelong effort to instill confidence in their children, many parents dole out praise that focuses on the child’s achievements and image. The praise is all positive, but parenting expert Dr. Shefali Tsabary says that this doesn’t send kids the right message.

“We are more than the form. This is the message we need to give our children. They are more than the doing,” she says.

Watch above as Dr. Shefali reveals the dangerous mindset that happens when children’s worth is tied to “the ‘doing’ aspects of life” and what she believes parents should help their children embrace instead.

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