Sankari and Keith, parents Skyping into the Lifeclass Social Lab, say their 9-year-old son wants to start doing more activities with his friends, some of which they’re not comfortable with. Sankari asks Dr. Shefali Tsabary, bestselling author and parenting expert, how to tell her son “no” without crushing his spirit.

Dr. Shefali says Sankari is asking the right question. “‘No’ is a real soul crusher,” she says. “Because life is ‘yes.’ Life is affirming. Life is always saying ‘yes.'”

How do you shift into the “yes”? In the above video, Dr. Shefali helps parents find the positive in everyday situations and connect with their child’s need, instead of always resisting.

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