See Shefali Tsabary, PhD’s video on Finding balance and harmony with technology.


Parents come to me with concern for how do I stop my child with his or her obsession for technology – iPads, computers, games, cell phones. Kids as young as 8 want cell phones. 6 have iPads. How do we understand how to help them negotiate their desire for technology which is all around them versus the onus to be in their inner space. And my answer is not a clear cut one, because technology is not the devil that it is made out to be, nor is it a means for salvation. So as long as we parents are grounded in the balance between its good and its potential destruction, we can then help our children navigate that. And my answer is going to be there is no grey answer, because there is no perfect solution or formula. We just have to negotiate every moment, every day, and see how much of my child’s time is being consumed by this external obsession? And how much have I carved out as a family, as a parent, as a mother, the ability for my child to sit in a stillness, read, to reflect, to connect with the family. So I would not advocate an all or nothing approach, because then the child will just rebel and find it elsewhere. I think technology can be embraced in a very mindful way, and like everything in life in a very balanced way. As long as the parent understands that the first focus in life needs to be enough quiet time that the child can reflect, connect, and if the child spends 20 minutes with technology, there’s no great harm. So it all depends on the parental leadership in the home.

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